Walking home up the hill from a hot and sweaty run along the coastal path from Coogee to Bondi last week, I stopped by a convenience store for what at the time I believed was going to be a refreshing - and non confusing - drink of Powerade. What I purchased has since rocked my belief system to it’s core.
The flavour of beverage was Ice Storm. Yes, Ice Storm. What? Ice Storm? Yes. Ice Storm. #icestorm.
I know what you’re thinking: What’s the big deal, it just means it’s the flavour of an icy storm. But wait, did you just hear what you just said to yourself? The flavour of an ice storm. An ICE STORM.
Up to that point in my life I had never experienced an ice storm, so I wasn’t one to judge. A blizzard maybe, a storm definitely, a hail storm also yes, but never an ice storm.
This led me to the next logical step once I’d recovered from the shock and intrigue of what this flavour would be before I dare tasted it: I set out to investigate what an ice storm would taste like so I would have something to compare it against.
I investigated the flavour of ice. This one was quite simple in that I went home, got to the freezer and tasted some ice. Anti climactically, it just tasked like water. Really cold water actually. No surprises there, but at least it helped build my rationale.
I investigated the flavour of storm. This one was a bit more tricky, because I didn’t know exactly what part of a storm was the truest to the overall flavour. Luckily there was a massive storm that afternoon so during it I was able to go out into it and just taste things. I licked the road affected by the storm, I bit into an upturned car, I drank some water coming out of the storm water drains, and it gave me a better indication of the flavour.
Although at this stage, I must admit that my expectations of the Powerade flavour were quite low, as none of those stormy flavours were at all pleasant, and I also came to the conclusion that when I combined the flavours of the storm, and the cube of ice, the storm would be more overpowering than the ice flavour.
I investigated the flavour of an ice storm. This one was definitely the most financially and geographically inconvenient as I thought to truest type of ice storm I could find would be in Alaska, so off I went.
As I arrived, there was what I considered a true ice storm. Definitely more than a blizzard, and less than an avalanche, which was great. Funnily enough, this storm did taste quite different to the one in Bondi. It was more icy, but I’d define it as a ‘cold, watered down’ version of a standard storm. Still not delicious.
I tasted the Powerade Ice Storm drink.
To say I was disappointed is a gross understatement.
For starters, it is the middle of summer in Australia and I never put it in the fridge when I’d returned from my run, so it was the furthest from icy as you could imagine. Assuming it is intended to be served ice cold, I set that aside. Which leads me to the flavour.
If I did not know the flavour was ‘ice storm’ (which, if you have read the above 572 words, I definitely did know) I would have classified the flavour as “Blue Chemicals”. There was absolutely no, and I mean NO, similarities to a storm. Or an ice storm.
It makes no sense. Powerade has a lemon-lime flavour that is at least coloured like a lime-y lemon, and blackcurrant flavour that is also coloured like a blackcurrant, and even an orange flavour that resembles an orange.
Despite finding the name misleading, I applaud Powerade for their decision of not making it’s Ice Storm beverage taste like and actual storm, or just of ice, or of an ice storm. From my experience they taste average at best.